


Connect

by heffermonkey



Series: Wear No Disguise [23]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Collars, Community: 1-million-words, Dom/sub, Dominance, Gags, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Orgasm Control, Probes, Sex Toys, Submission, cock gag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4304238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heffermonkey/pseuds/heffermonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Danny is badly injured his recuperation has repercussions on their relationship.  He and Steve figure out new ways to re-connect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Forgot all about this fic, so I've dusted it off and decided to share.

“You want anything?” Steve asked from the doorway.

“No,” Danny replied without moving, pausing for a moment before continuing. “I’m good.”

“You sure?” Steve said.

“Yup,” Danny said quickly.

“Because I can -,” Steve started before Danny cut him off sharply.

“I said no,” Danny snapped loudly. “I’m fine.”

Steve gave a small nod before slinking back into the kitchen. He wasn’t really hungry himself, but he made a sandwich anyway because it had been a long day and he reminded himself he hadn’t eaten since breakfast. He took his time if only to fill time which seemed to have slowed right down now Danny was home from the hospital. Things felt different and Steve wasn’t comfortable with different, too many variables on doing the wrong thing. Danny wasn’t himself, but Steve couldn’t blame him after what he’d been through, he just needed time to adjust back to his normal, everyday routine.

Steve picked up his plate and eyed the door that led onto the lanai where Danny was. Since getting him home a few hours before, Danny had been out there, reading or dozing. He’d made it clear he didn’t want to talk and Steve felt like he really didn’t want him around right now. Steve opted for the living room, settling down in front of the TV, keeping the volume low, just in case Danny needed him for anything.

~

Danny went to bed early, saying he could manage fine, despite still using the cane for his knee and being heavily bruised around his body. 

“I can help myself,” Danny said gruffly as he took the stairs slowly one at a time. “I’m not an invalid.”

Steve didn’t push it because he knew what it was like to go through what Danny was going through. Being violated so violently the way he’d been battered around, you needed to regain that independence and normality if only to feel yourself again. Still it hurt that Danny was pushing him away so hard, he could barely say a word to him without Danny being snappy or gruff. If Danny didn’t start dealing with his emotional shit soon, Steve knew things would come to a head. He just wasn’t sure they were ready for what might happen. For the moment, he kept quiet because he understood Danny’s frustration, but his patience wouldn’t last long.

It was still early, so Steve didn’t follow him to bed immediately, instead waiting a few hours, hoping Danny would sleep. He needed rest and it was the best way for his body to heal. He checked the security of the house and made his way upstairs to their bedroom. His sidelight was on, but Danny was asleep which Steve was pleased about. Danny had point blank refused the sleeping pills the doctor tried to prescribe, saying he was already taking so many drugs he could run his own pharmaceutical.

Steve washed and stripped down in the bathroom before going into the bedroom again. As he passed the dresser something caught his eye, or rather didn’t and he paused, running his hand over the empty surface with a frown. His collar usually held pride of place on the dresser, curled up in its box unless he wore it. The box was gone, but it had been there this morning, he knew that much because he’d been looking at it before he left to collect Danny from the hospital. Had he moved it without thinking? Had he placed it down elsewhere? 

He scanned the room but didn’t see it, even went back into the bathroom just in case, but it wasn’t there either. He went back to the dresser feeling something akin to alarm, hand running over the surface again. Without thinking he pulled the top drawer open, it was full of knick-knacks, deodorants, combs, stupid stuff they usually dumped in there to keep out of sight and forgot about for months. The kind of drawer everybody owned but didn’t really admit to having. The box wasn’t in there either, or so he thought, but as he went to push it closed, some of the items propelled forward and something black and square caught his eye, pushed right to the back.

He reached in and pulled it out with a frown, relieved to find it considering he’d begun to panic that it had been lost. He opened the lid to check the collar was inside, relieved it was and shut it again before looking at the open drawer. The box hadn’t fallen in there itself and he hadn’t put it there, he knew that. Steve half turned and looked over at the bed, feeling his heart beating a little faster, but it wasn’t from excitement, more from worry. Why would Danny banish the collar to the back of the drawer?

He turned away again and lingered, about to put the box back where he’d found it, but instead he shut the drawer sharply, uncaring if it made too much noise. Steve set the collar back on the dresser where it belonged. If Danny had a problem, he wasn’t going to hide it in drawers, he was going to talk it out with him, he owed him that much.


	2. Chapter 2

When Steve woke the next day, Danny was already out of bed. It was early, but he wasn’t surprised, Danny had tossed and turned a few times during the night and had probably conceded defeat by the time the sun rose. Steve rolled onto his back and stretched before sitting up on his elbows, seeing Danny by the dresser, hand on the box holding his collar. He could see Danny watching him through the mirror of the dresser though his eyes moved away when Steve sat up.

“Morning,” Steve said brightly, hoping the day would begin on a positive note.

“Morning,” Danny said quietly, pulling his hand away and pulling a drawer open to search around for clothes.

“How are you feeling today?” Steve asked, getting out of bed.

“Fine,” Danny replied, straightening up with a t-shirt in hand. “A little tired I guess.”

“Yeah you will be, you didn’t sleep great,” Steve sympathised.

“Did I wake you?” Danny asked, moving over to the desk and propping his cane up against it.

“No, not really,” Steve said with a shake of his head. “Just was kind of aware you know?”

“Yeah, okay,” Danny nodded as he began pulling the t-shirt on slowly, easing it onto his arms first. “Sorry.”

“It’s no problem,” Steve smiled, watching as he struggled to lift his arms and put his head through the hole. He walked over to him and helped ease it over his head. “Here, let me help.”

“I can do it,” Danny sighed, but he didn’t chase him away; at least that was something. 

“Didn’t say you couldn’t,” Steve retorted gently. “Doesn’t mean I can’t help anyway.”

He pulled the hem down gently over Danny’s torso, careful to avoid the heavy bruising on his side that still shone a greenish, yellow along his rib cage.

“Thanks,” Danny said quietly, reaching for the boardies he was going to put on. He didn’t complain when Steve took them out of his hands and dropped to a knee, patiently waiting for Danny to step into them, one foot, then the other. As he pulled them up Danny rested a hand on his shoulder for support. “Steve?”

“Yeah?” Steve asked, pulling the waistband over Danny’s thighs and standing as Danny helped pull them up to his waist.

“Thanks, babe,” Danny said with a small smile. “Sorry, if I’m being an asshole. It’s pissing me off, not being able to do stuff.”

“You can do stuff,” Steve smiled in reply. “Just takes a little longer at the moment. You’re still healing Danny, it’s going to be a few weeks before you begin feeling normal.”

“Yeah I know,” Danny nodded with a frown. “That’s part of the problem. I hate being like this, you know I’m a bad patient anyway, you know the next few weeks aren’t going to be easy for us.”

“I know,” Steve grinned, putting a hand tentatively on his hip, he knew Danny was still tender in most places. “I’m willing to ride out the storm with you though, on account I’m far too in love with you to let you go it alone.”

Danny gave a small smile and leaned against him, resting his head on his shoulder for a moment.

“Would the invalid care for breakfast?” Steve asked him gently.

“Food would be good,” Danny sighed. “Thanks.”

“Let me shower and dress and I’ll come make you something,” Steve said, patting him on the arm. “Can you manage the stairs okay?”

“I got up them, I can get down them,” Danny said with a small laugh, pulling away and picking up his cane. “Might just take me a while.”

“Good part of your recuperation,” Steve reminded him. “Keeps you mobile.”

“Yeah whatever doc,” Danny smiled and Steve headed for the bathroom. “Hey, Steve?”

“Yup?” Steve asked as Danny looked him in the eye with a smile.

“I love you too.”


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a few days and they’d settled into some weird routine where Danny bitched only three quarters of the time, Steve took it all considerably in his stride and made quite the nurse, making sure Danny ate, got exercise, received treatment for his healing wounds and took his meds like clockwork.

In fact things could be normal for them considering the circumstances of Danny’s recuperation, except for the lack of intimacy that had strangely developed. They barely even kissed never mind touched one another, they hadn’t made love and there’d been no reference whatsoever to their roles in the lifestyle.

At first Steve had put it down to Danny recuperating, of course, he wasn’t in the mood for sex, his body had been so battered and bruised that Steve wouldn’t have expected anything anyway. He just wanted him better. But the lack of intimacy was another thing if they did kiss it was chaste, short and to the point, if he tried to touch Danny he moved away or shrugged him off.

And there was the incident with the collar too. Steve still hadn’t broached the subject of why Danny had put it away in the drawer out of sight, although ever since he’d put it back where it belonged it hadn’t been moved again. Danny had been home a week and when he once more pulled away as Steve was trying to deepen a kiss between them before got into bed, Steve had gotten a little angry at being brushed off.

“Danny? Is there something wrong?” He asked, trying not to let his anger overcome his concern as Danny limped over to the bed.

“What? No, nothing’s wrong,” Danny shook his head, pulling the sheet down slowly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean this,” Steve said, walking to his side of the bed and looking over at him. “Us. You pulling away or brushing me off anytime I try to get intimate with you.”

“I’m tired babe,” Danny said with a shake of his head. “I – I’m just tired, that’s all.”

“Danny look at me,” Steve said softly as he pulled the sheets down on his side of the bed. He waited and Danny raised his eyes slowly, a soft blush appearing over his cheeks. “It’s okay if you don’t want to right now okay? I get it. I just – I want to be able to hold you and kiss you without feeling like – like you don’t want me too.”

“It’s not that,” Danny shook his head again. “I hurt everywhere babe. I mean everywhere – and every day I wake up hoping it’ll stop hurting only I still hurt and ache and I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere right now.”

“It’s a slow process Danny,” Steve reminded him, getting onto the bed and watching Danny ease himself gingerly onto the mattress before he pulled the sheet up over the both of them. As he began to lay back, Danny rolled slowly onto his side and rested a hand on his chest.

“I’m sorry I keep pushing you away,” Danny said gently. “But I can’t give you what you need babe and I feel bad about that. More than you know.”

“I’m not expecting anything from you,” Steve said, resting his hand over his. “I just want to be able to kiss you and hold you for longer than a few seconds sometimes. That’s all, nothing more.”

“You need more though don’t you?” Danny asked him. Steve looked back at him before swallowing down and looking away, staring at the ceiling instead.

“Maybe, but it isn’t like I haven’t learned to be patient because of you,” He said eventually, giving a small knowing smile. His smile broadened when Danny gave a small chuckle.

“Fair point,” Danny smiled, easing closer and resting his head against Steve’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I can’t be who you need right now.”

“You’re everything I need right now,” Steve replied quietly. “I’ve got you home safe, where you belong.”

They fell silent and he could feel Danny relaxing against him, his breath evening out slowly. Steve swallowed down again before asking the question that had been on his mind for several days.

“Danny,” He began in a low tone. “You’re not wanting to be – you’re not feeling you can be intimate right now, is that why you put the collar at the back of the drawer?”

He felt Danny’s face press into his shoulder and Danny tensed for a few seconds before relaxing again.

“I’m sorry babe,” Danny whispered against him. “I – I’m not sure why I did it. I just remember seeing it and at the time it was like – like I couldn’t be him and I wasn’t sure how to deal with that.”

“You mean you couldn’t be you,” Steve said gently. 

“You know what I mean,” Danny retorted quietly. “I felt bad when I woke up until I saw you’d gotten it out again.”

“I know it’s a tough time for you,” Steve assured him. “I’m just trying to understand.”

“It was a stupid thing to do baby,” Danny said again. “I am sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Steve said. “I wish you’d been able to explain it to me at the time, but I get it.”

“We’re going to be okay aren’t we?” Danny asked quietly and Steve could hear the nervousness as he asked, the need for assurance.

“Of course we are,” Steve said firmly, turning carefully to face him, trying not to jar Danny’s body at the same time. “We are okay, we just probably need to talk more than ignoring the elephant in the room.”

“Mind if we talk in the morning when I’m not so sleepy,” Danny whispered with a smile, relaxing as Steve manoeuvred his body a little so he was bearing Danny’s weight in a comfortable position.

“No problem,” Steve smiled, pressing a kiss to the bridge of his nose.

As they fell asleep Steve felt a little relieved, at least they were talking about it and that was better than pretending nothing was wrong. They’d always had an active sex life, since the start of their relationship they’d been intimate so although he understood why the intimacy was on a lowdown for the moment, it was hard to deal with. Danny has always been a guy who liked to touch, he was a tactile person and so being denied that touch, even as a friend, was a strange concept. Steve hoped because of their beginning to talk about it, that things would begin going back to normal.


	4. Chapter 4

“What are you smirking at?” Danny snapped as glanced over at Steve who was at the counter sorting out his meds.

Steve gave a small laugh and poured a glass of water before turning to him, pills in one hand and holding the glass out to him.

“You,” Steve informed him. “Take these.”

“So glad my pain amuses you Steven,” Danny grumbled, taking the glass and offered pills, downing them in one gulp.

“I’m not amused by your pain Danno,” Steve smiled and shook his head at him. “Only how you’re beginning to show a pattern, every time it comes round to you having your meds you’ve descended into a grouchy, grumpy mood. In about half an hour your mood will have lifted as they begin to kick in.”

“So it is my pain you're amused by,” Danny said matter of factly.

“No,” Steve retorted again. “Just you in general. You want more to drink?”

“Beer,” Danny said hopefully.

“Another week on the meds and then you can have all the beer you want, within reason,” Steve smiled.

“Nurse Ratchet,” Danny mumbled under his breath. “When do I have to go back to the hospital?”

“You have a check up on Tuesday at 12,” Steve informed him. “I’m back at the office from Monday, but I’ll be around to take you.”

“What if you catch a case?” Danny asked him.

“I’ll take you,” Steve said again firmly.

“Okay, okay,” Danny conceded. “You know you can go back to work now you know? I’m moving around better, I know my med routine, you don’t have to stay home.”

“I know I don’t,” Steve smiled over at him. “Believe me, I know that.”

Danny grinned and shook his head, limping into the living room, “So not only do I have to suffer the aches and pains of my injuries, but I have to put up with you too.”

“You love putting up with me,” Steve teased. “Need anything?”

“Nope, I’m good,” Danny said as he sat down, propping his leg up on the coffee table, a cushion resting under his knee. “You busy?”

“Not really, why?” Steve asked him.

“Just wondering,” Danny shrugged as he looked over at him.

“Something on your mind?” Steve asked knowingly. Danny looked thoughtful, which meant he had something to talk about.

“I was just thinking about our chat yesterday,” Danny explained. “About us being intimate, or not being intimate as it happens.”

“I didn’t say it to pressure you into anything D,” Steve said, walking over to him. “You know that right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Danny nodded with a smile. “But I know how frustrating it must be too considering, well we have a pretty healthy sex life babe, we can’t deny that.”

“Frustrating for you too,” Steve said with a nod of understanding.

“Yeah I guess,” Danny said with a shrug. “If I’m honest, I’m aching so much that it’s the last thing on my mind. And the doc did warn that some of the meds would inhibit me, guess that’s true. Think that’s the most frustrating part, not actually feeling, you know -.”

“Horny?” Steve grinned, crouching down in front of him.

“Yeah,” Danny laughed lightly. “Guess that affects the both of us too.”

“Because of what you went through,” Steve said and giving a small shudder at the memory. “I haven’t been expecting anything, honest Danny. It’s just, I want to be able to hold you and kiss you without you pulling away. I’m trying to understand, really.”

“There’s other stuff too,” Danny nodded knowingly. “That we haven’t addressed and that isn’t fair on you.”

“You’re dealing with a lot right now,” Steve reminded him. “I’m not expecting you to take control.”

“I saw you in the shower this morning,” Danny admitted quickly and quietly. Steve stared at him open mouthed before dropping his eyes, a flush rising up his neck and cheeks.

“Oh?” Steve said softly.

“Babe I think under the circumstances,” Danny smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek. “You should be taking care of yourself instead of making it go away.”

“Easier said than done these days,” Steve said with a shake of his head.

“I’m sorry, I never – I didn’t think about that,” Danny admitted. “Haven’t you - even when I was in the hospital?”

“Jesus Danny,” Steve gasped out, looking up at him with wide eyes. “I think that was the last thing on my mind when you were in the hospital. If I wasn’t there I was at HQ gathering intel, building the case or coming home and trying to get a few hours sleep.”

“Fuck baby,” Danny said with an impressed smile. “It’s been three weeks.”

“You’re fucking telling me,” Steve said with a grin before giving him a sobering look. “Although last week, before you came home, I woke up in the middle of the night; I’d come all over the sheets. Haven’t done that since I was a teenager.”

Danny gave a small snort and petted his cheek gently, “Probably your bodies way of getting what it needed without you suppressing the urge.”

“Yeah I guess,” Steve nodded. “I felt guilty after though, even if the dream had been pretty intense and hot.”

“Can’t control your body if your unconscious baby,” Danny assured him. “Still, three weeks, colour me impressed babe. It’s the longest you’ve gone and you aren’t wearing your chastity belt or cage.”

“Beginning to feel the pressure now though,” Steve told him. “As you probably figured this morning seeing me in the shower.”

“You know what makes me feel guilty,” Danny said soberly. “Seeing you like that and not getting turned on. Makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me.”

“Like you said it’s the meds Danny and your body is still healing,” Steve replied sympathetically. “Things will turn around, we’ll just work on it together. When I say I want to hold you and kiss you, sometimes it’s just for that, not because I want to get you into bed or play around. You know that right?”

“Yeah I know,” Danny nodded with a smile. “Thanks Steve. I know this isn’t easy on you and you know, just because I’m not in the mood doesn’t mean I’m not willing to play around.”

Steve gave a small frown and looked at him, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking,” Danny smiled, sitting up a little. “I might be laid up and healing, but it gets boring just sitting around reading. I need something else to take up my time and stimulate my brain.”

“Like what?” Steve asked warily.

“Like a pet project,” Danny grinned, running a hand through his hair. “You being said pet and my personal project.”

“Should I be worried?” Steve said but with a smile.

“Look I’m not saying I’ll be my normal, Dominant self,” Danny admitted softly. “But after we talked yesterday and having had a think today, well I figured just because I’m having intimacy issues doesn’t mean I can’t start tapping into that side of myself again. I’m not going to be able to get very physical right now, but you know how my brain works. I can certainly let my imagination run wild and you get to have some fun and relieve some of that pent up frustration you’re experiencing.”

“Huh,” Steve said in surprise, sitting back on his haunches a little. “Okay.”

“You don’t seem very excited,” Danny smiled down at him.

“Well you’ve sort of surprised me Danny,” Steve admitted with a smile. “But if you want to play.”

“If you’re willing,” Danny motioned to him.

“You know I am,” Steve replied, looking up at him with a meek but desperate look.

“God yeah I know you are,” Danny smiled down at him. “Things might be a little different for the next few days but I’ll try my best.”


	5. Chapter 5

Things hadn’t escalated straight away, the way Danny was feeling he wasn’t in any frame of mind to begin until his meds had kicked and in and he’d begun to feel some semblance of normal. He’d fallen asleep on the couch and Steve had left him to rest, but he was relieved they’d actually talked about the intimacy issues they were currently facing. He’d begun to worry they were pretending nothing was wrong when something obviously was.

Then there were his personal sexual frustrations which he’d been dealing with over the last week or so now Danny was home. He hadn’t wanted to broach the subject because Danny wasn’t showing any interest in sex of any kind, but the nature of their relationship had created some boundaries that had become second nature to him. The idea of jacking off without Danny’s permission wasn’t an option, so he’d been suppressing the urge with lots of will power and several trained techniques. He’d half considered putting himself in his own chastity cage just to help himself along. It was still an option he was half considering and he wondered whether to broach the subject with his Dominant if he continued feeling the way he did.

He’d taken a leave of absence from the team, despite grumblings from the Governors office (though no official message of disapproval) and it wasn’t as though he wasn’t owed the favour or several. He’d been adamant he was going to take care of Danny until he was back on his feet and trusted Chin and Kono to deal with anything thrown at them with the full backing of HPD. He kept in contact, but he had purposefully taken a step back and wasn’t regretting doing so.

Instead he’d taken on the task of clearing the garage and considering there was still half his dads stuff, his own shit collected over the years and Danny’s added to the mix, it was a task definitely taking up all his time and energy. In between being nursemaid to a grumpy patient like Danny, clearing the garage, getting the odd jobs that had been put off for months around the house completed and working on the Maquis, it wasn’t like he had nothing to fill his time.

He wandered into the living room to check on Danny after working on clearing some boxes in the garage and found the sofa devoid of its former occupant. Steve listened and heard a tell-tale creak on the ceiling from the bedroom and made his way upstairs just to check Danny wasn’t overexerting himself, like doing somersaults around the room.

“Everything okay D?” He asked as he walked into the bedroom. He paused by the door, finding Danny delving through their toy cupboard, the toy chest already open and pilfered through.

“Yup,” Danny replied over his shoulder. “You know we got stuff in here we hardly play with anymore. We should either bring it out of retirement or get rid of some to make room for new toys.”

“New toys?” Steve asked, raising his eyebrows a little.

“Well, it’s been a while since we went shopping,” Danny said, turning and giving him a smile. “Hey, maybe we could go through to the store before you go back to work.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Steve nodded noncommittally. “We’ll see if you’re up to it in a few days.”

“It’ll feel good to get out of the house,” Danny sighed, turning back to the toy cupboard. “So you in the mood babe, because I got ideas.”

“What – now?” Steve asked in slight surprise.

“No, next week,” Danny replied dryly. “Yeah, now. Yes, no?”

“Yeah – yes,” Steve said, moving further into the room. He was a little thrown considering Danny’s reluctance so far. “Okay.”

“You don’t sound sure,” Danny chuckled, turning to look at him again. He gave him a sweeping look up and down, noting his t-shirt streaked with dirt and sweaty from his exertions. Danny pointed his cane towards the bathroom. “Go shower first, don’t bother getting dressed before you come back in here.”

“Uh, right,” Steve said, turning towards the bathroom and reaching for the hem of his t-shirt to pull it off. 

“Steven,” Danny said in a low, firm tone that got his full attention. Steve paused and turned back to face him, swallowing down. It had been over three weeks since Danny had used that tone and he hadn’t realised how much he’d missed it or how it made him feel when he used it.

“Yes?” Steve said, waiting.

“You want to do this right?” Danny asked him carefully.

Steve nodded quickly, was Danny kidding, he needed this. Danny had only just suggested a play time and he was craving to begin.

“Right well, I know it’s been a while,” Danny said in understanding, giving him a stern look. “But let’s not forget our manners pet hmmm?”

Steve gave a small smile of understanding and nodded again, “Yes Sir.”

Danny shooed him away with a small smile and turned back to the toy cupboard and open chest on the ground. Steve didn’t delay, washing himself clean, quickly and vigorously drying off, brushing his teeth and going back into the bedroom as soon as he could.

Danny was by the desk, with a handful of toys lain out on top. He turned and gave Steve an appreciative full sweep with his eyes, enjoying the sight.

“You want to talk before we play?” Danny asked him. “About anything; anything at all?”

“I gotta admit,” Steve said with a small shrug. “I’m a little nervous. It’s been a while, Danny, I’m not sure I’ll be able to take much before, you know – not like usual.”

“I know,” Danny nodded in agreement. “Think of this as my way of helping you get rid of some obvious sexual tension and frustration babe. This is definitely going to be some rewarding play for you. I’m not sure I’m up for a long session myself so don’t worry about it. Long as it’s good for you right?”

He paused and turned serious for a moment, looking a little disappointed in the process of explaining. “I don’t want you feeling – rejected - if I don’t get turned on seeing you all turned on. Do you get what I’m saying? I mean I’m looking at you now and I’m loving what I’m seeing because I love you, love your body, but I’m not feeling what I’d usually feel. I sort of get why , but it’s hard still and I feel bad about it. I don’t want you to think you don’t turn me on when you do, it’s just my body isn’t really physically catching up with my brain and all the kind of thoughts I’m having right now. Which are definitely turned on, all the way up.”

Steve gave a small laugh and walked over to him, “You mean your brain is horny but your body isn’t feeling it?”

“Kinda I guess,” Danny smiled at him. “You understand right?”

“Just wish I could do something to get your body catching up with those brains cells,” Steve said with a nod. “But yeah, I understand. Don’t worry Danny, I’ve been there okay, after something bad’s happened and you’re all a little messed up inside, like everything isn’t quite aligned right. It takes time but you’re doing great, soon you’ll be feeling like new. Until then, we’ll make it work best we can.”

“We can definitely start implementing all that kissing and holding you’ve been so eager to do the last few days,” Danny laughed. “Now I don’t feel so tender and I’ve explained how I’m feeling, or not feeling as the case may be.”

“Look forward to it,” Steve grinned eagerly, moving closer, “Can I start now?”

“Nope, I got other plans for you,” Danny said with a shake of his head. “If there isn’t anything else you want to talk about.”

“I’m good for now,” Steve said with a nod.

“Good, then go kneel down,” Danny said, giving him a small push. “Offering position.”


	6. Chapter 6

Steve moved back, giving a small dip of his head in response before going to the middle of the floor at the foot of the bed and getting to his knees before prostrating his body down to the ground. He mentally tracked his angles and lines, from the tips of his fingers to the ends of his toes to make sure he was aligned and straight, before relaxing.

He didn’t know how long Danny made him hold the position, but the longer he was there, the further he felt the shroud of submission overcoming him. It felt good, giving in to it, relaxing, letting himself float in that bubble where nothing else mattered except the two of them in that room, giving over his control to Danny willingly. When Danny finally spoke, it was the simple command of ‘Collaring position’ and Steve smoothly rose up to kneel, hands on his thighs, back straight, head back, eyes lowered.

Danny’s hand came into focus, holding a black leather strip between his fingers and he held it close to his lips. Steve moved forward an inch and pressed his lips reverently against the soft leather, bestowing a kiss on the collar in acceptance of it before Danny wrapped it around his neck and fastened it securely there. Steve could feel the cold press of the ‘ID’ tag press against his throat, proof of Danny’s ownership of it and currently him.

“So I was thinking,” Danny said, getting his attention as he walked around him slowly, resting a hand on his shoulder as he paused. “I want you to have fun because you deserve it after the last few weeks. This might be over sooner rather than later considering how long it’s been, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be good for you.”

Danny left his side and walked towards the desk, “You can rest in your waiting position for now,” he said over his shoulder.

Steve moved fluidly into his waiting position, knees sliding open a little, hands behind his back, bringing his face forward and keeping his eyes lowered, but he had the freedom to look at Danny if he wanted.

“I’m not going to be getting too physical with you, personally I mean,” Danny explained again. “You know that. In fact, this is going to be more a show than anything else for me, not that I’m complaining. But I do want to make it fun and I know what really gets you turned on is sucking cock.”

Steve couldn’t deny it. Even before his relationship with Danny had begun he’d developed an enjoyment of feasting on cock, a technique he’d learned through Richard Steadman and perfected on Danny.

“So we’ll have to compromise, if you want to that is,” Danny said, turning back to him, the larger of their cock gags in his hand. “Want to wear this while you play pet?”

Steve lifted his eyes to look over at him, wondering what Danny had in mind and quickly getting with the program, feeling something flutter inside his stomach akin to excitement.

“Yes Sir,” He replied firmly.

“Been a while since you wore this one,” Danny pointed out to him teasingly. “You sure about this?”

“Yes Sir,” Steve said again, trying not to squirm eagerly. “Please.”

“God,” Danny laughed lightly, shaking his head at him. “I don’t think you’re going to last long at all baby. You’re halfway to gone already.”

Steve felt himself flush, it was strange how simple humiliation affected him, making his body heat, his skin blush, but he couldn’t deny it if he tried. His cock was already half erect and even his simple act of submission was turning him on, never mind Danny beginning to play with him.

“A few things before I put this on you,” Danny said as he drew near to him. “One, I’m not putting you in any bondage, so if you want it off, you’ll be free to remove it yourself or use the hand signals. Yes?”

“Yes Sir,” Steve nodded.

“What are your hand signals?” Danny tested him. They didn’t use them as often as other safety measures like the squeeze ball or code words.

“Green,” Steve said, raising a hand and making an ‘ok’ sign with his thumb and forefinger. He then held his hand up flat, “Amber”, then a fist, “Red.”

“Good boy,” Danny praised with a nod. “Here, play a little while before I put it on you.”

He held the gag out to Steve and waited for him to take it, bringing it to his lips.

“Slowly, it’s been a while for you,” Danny said, petting his hair gently. “Don’t want you hurting that pretty mouth because you got greedy.”

Steve flushed at the petting and show of concern as he opened his mouth and slipped the head of the gag inside. It was a long and thick gag which reminded him the most of Danny’s own cock, so he could at least use his imagination until Danny was feeling up to getting physical again. Danny left him to his own devices and went back over to the desk. Steve watched him as he began sucking and moving the gag in and out like it was real dick, half disappointed it wasn’t, but at least Danny was trying to tap into his base desires and turn-ons.

“So I was thinking of putting a cock ring on you, but I think that would be too cruel considering how long you’ve waited,” Danny said conversationally, like hadn’t ordered him to suck on a cock gag like it were the real deal. “Maybe next time. But I am going to make you work a little for it babe, after all, every experience is a learning experience right?”

Steve didn’t answer, just continued working the gag into his mouth, feeling it slip in easily with the saliva it was generating and feeling his own cock growing harder from the turn on.

“Get up on the end of the bed, on your knees facing the headboard, enough to be able to keep your balance,” Danny ordered.

Steve stopped sucking on the gag and moved over to the bed, climbing onto the bed until he could kneel comfortably, feet dangling off the end.

“Good, on all fours for now and keep working the gag while I prep you,” Danny told him. “Slow remember, suck on the tip like you do my cock. You know when you just suckle and work your tongue against the slit.”

Steve groaned at the memory and made an affirmative sound that he knew exactly what Danny was talking about. He bent over, keeping his weight up with one hand while holding the gag steady in his mouth with the other. He felt a hand smooth over his ass as Danny moved behind him, rubbing and petting his ass and thighs slowly and gently before beginning to press and probe his hole with a lone lubed finger. Steve drew in a breath and relaxed, sucking harder on the gag as Danny’s finger pressed and pushed in with a soft pop like entry. He felt the familiar back and forth as Danny worked the muscles until they finally gave in to the digit and he worked in up to the knuckle.

Steve moaned, closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of his lover prepping him. He’d missed this, missed Danny touching him, getting him all worked up. Danny might not be getting turned on, but he sure knew how to turn him on and Steve craved it after such a long denial neither of them could have controlled. He pulled the gag from his mouth and grunted louder as Danny aligned a second finger and pushed in, scissoring and stretching.

“Thought you weren’t wanting to get intimate Sir,” Steve said with a smile before moaning softly. Danny’s fingers had twisted, curled up and slowly dragged back. “Fuck.”

“Guess I changed my mind,” Danny chuckled, giving his ass a sharp but loving spank. “Cheeky boy.”

“Yes Sir,” Steve smiled before gasping again. “Sir keep doing that with your fingers and I’m not gonna last long.”

“You really aren’t are you,” Danny laughed again but he pulled his fingers away. “Okay babe, take a few deep breaths. Try and hold off a few more minutes for me, we haven’t even started yet.”

Steve did as he was told, breathing deep, calming himself, reigning in his excitement as much as he could. He was curious about what Danny had planned. He felt something dull and cold press against his ass and relaxed as it breached him, a thin coldness which he realised was possibly the silver probe Danny enjoyed teasing him with on occasion. Danny pressed all four inches into him before reaching between his legs a moment. Steve glanced down and found his confirmation was correct, it was the silver probe, which came with a controller, which was what Danny had just placed on the bed in front of him.

“Okay sit up babe,” Danny ordered. “The fun will begin in a minute I promise.”

Steve sat back and felt Danny’s chest press into his back, Danny’s mouth just below his left ear as he whispered, “Gag.”

Steve handed over the gag and dropped his hand as Danny took it off him, relaxing, submitting, careful not to lean back against his Dom. Danny was still healing after all.

“You ready for this? You happy to wear it?” Danny asked just to be sure.

“Yes Sir,” Steve nodded. “We’re green.”

“Good boy,” Danny said, pressing a kiss just below his ear before he shifted, lifting the gag to Steve’s lips and sliding it slowly in. Steve slacked his jaw and relaxed as the gag entered, sliding in and sitting deep, feeling Danny draw the leather straps behind his head and fasten the buckle there. He swallowed around the gag a few times, already feeling drool begin to pool at the corners of his mouth.


	7. Chapter 7

Danny moved to the side of the bed before climbing onto it carefully and slowly, moving to the middle of the bed and sitting back comfortably against the pillows. He held out a hand and motioned to the control box he’d placed down.

“Pass me the controller,” He ordered, waiting for Steve to pass it. Sitting back again he looked Steve over slowly, enjoying the sight. “Okay babe, we’re going to play a game. I’m setting the probe onto low and you’re just going to sit there like a good boy and enjoy it for a minute. Then when the minutes up I’ll turn off the probe and you get to play with yourself. From then on, you only get to play with yourself when the probe is turned off, and I’m in control of the probe so I’ll decide how frequent and how intense it’s going to be teasing your sweet hole. Understand?”

Steve nodded slowly, giving a soft moan when the probe began vibrating.

“Shh, just relax, enjoy it,” Danny smiled, watching him. It took all of Steve’s control not to squirm and wriggle as the probe gently teased him. “I know it’s not going to take long, but try for me okay?”

Steve tried to answer with a ‘yes Sir’ but the gag slurred his words. Part of him wanted to make this last, they hadn’t played in so long it would be a shame to waste the opportunity. But three weeks of denial, no counting that night he came in his sleep (which he’d been embarrassed about), meant he was also eager to feel those stirrings of passion and pleasure that they’d been without.

He focused on Danny, it was strange because Danny was watching him carefully, with the usual love and attention he bestowed on him, as his lover and his Dominant. But there was no passion burning in his eyes that was usually the case. Steve wanted to put on a good show for Danny, but it felt selfish almost, getting turned on, seeking pleasure knowing Danny wasn’t going to.

He felt the soft vibrations of the probe end suddenly, his ass almost pulsing for more of the feeling. Automatically he reached for his cock, wrapping his fingers around it with a firm grip and began jacking off, moaning and slurring around the gag at the feel.

“Yes good boy, keep it slow,” Danny whispered with a nod. “Just like that.”

Steve groaned, his rhythm a teasing, torturing slow. As he moved his hand he thrust his hips gently back and forth.

“Good, so good,” Danny nodded again in encouragement. “Feel good?”

Steve groaned out a yes, lips vibrating against the gag, pressing his tongue up against the underside, wishing it were real cock he had his lips wrapped around.

He moaned and gave a full body shudder as the probe jumped to life again, this time on a higher setting. It took all his self-determination to pull his hand away from his cock. He wanted to jack off to the vibrations desperately. He pressed the heels of his palms against his thighs, arching his back and grunting at the feel.

“Hmm yeah, that’s what you need baby,” Danny soothed gently to him. “Widen those knees for me.”

Steve had to concentrate, sliding his knees wider, body swaying, bucking like he could ride the probe. It stopped again and he drew in shaky breaths past the gag and through his nose.

“C’mon pet, work that cock,” Danny ordered as he delayed getting his hand in motion. “Faster this time.”

Steve obeyed though it was harder this time, pre-cum already pooling at the tip and making his fingers slick. He’d gotten close to the edge embarrassingly fast and his groans were becoming desperate as they stuck in his throat and heaved past the cock gag stuffing his mouth.

“You on the edge baby? Close for me yeah?” Danny asked gently, knowing his every reaction. Steve nodded, slurring and drooling past the gag and working his hand fast, so so close to the edge, he could feel the orgasm ready to explode.

“Hand off,” Danny said sharply. “Take a breath, reel back a little c’mon, you can do it, baby.”

Steve moaned in disappointment but withdrew his hand, fingers clawing at his thighs, breathing hard now, feeling saliva dribbling down his jaw.

“Good boy,” Danny smiled and he shuddered at the praise. Danny may not be getting off but Steve could hear and see the pride of his Dominant and felt his submission cloaking him warmly to this man who was so thoroughly in control of his actions. Steve whined and keened as the probe started up again, light, soft vibrations again, hardly anything to get him off but torturous in its use. “You’re doing so good baby. Soon, I promise. Show me, show me how good you are.”

Steve arched and groaned as the probe intensified, the vibrations becoming stronger and stronger.

“Yeah you like that,” Danny said knowingly at his enjoyment. “Reach back and push the probe in deeper as you jerk off. Suck on that gag like it’s my cock.”

Steve took himself in hand again, lifting a little onto his knees as he reached behind, fingers connecting with the end of the probe and he pushed it deeper as ordered, giving a guttural whimper. The sensations and pleasure were beginning to unravel him and he let himself freely float in the bubble they began to create.

“Deeper baby, let me hear it,” Danny said firmly. “You don’t come until that probe is pressed right up inside you.”

It was pure torture, Steve knew what Danny wanted, the pleasure was overwhelming and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He swallowed, gagging and choking around the cock gag, that enough to send him over the edge but he surrendered to his Master’s control, gave the probe a firm push up and at an angle, shuddering and groaning loudly, his body beginning to shake as he lost control. There was no way he’d claw back to the edge, even if Danny ordered it, but through the haze of torturing pleasure he heard Danny give the permission he was waiting for.

“Come for me Steve, let go, c’mon baby, come for me,” Danny whispered and Steve didn’t need any more encouragement. Everything went black, then hot white as his eyes scrunched shut. His body shuddered and shook, cock streaking the bed sheets with thin, white creamy ribbons, he moaned and gurgled sloppily around the gag, saliva soaking his jaw and throat.

For a few seconds he floated, bliss covering him like a blanket as he came down from his high slowly. He breathed heavy like he’d ran a marathon, everything seemed lighter, like a weight had been lifted and he enjoyed the peace he felt, opening his eyes and looking at Danny with blurry vision. Danny stretched out a hand to him, smiling.

“Come here baby,” Danny encouraged gently.

Steve moved slow, like his body was stuck in mud. He crawled up the bed between Danny’s legs, aware enough to rest against Danny’s left rather than his right. Danny wrapped his arms around him and held him close as he came down from his adrenaline infused high.

“Shit babe, you came hard,” Danny chuckled as he ran his hands up and down his back, his skin sticky from sweat. “That feel good?”

Steve tried to hum an affirmative around the gag which still filled his mouth. His jaw was beginning to ache, but for him it was an enjoyable sensation.

“Slide the probe out,” Danny whispered, his fingers tracing circles and swirls against his skin. 

Steve reached down and back, still half dazed and slipped out the probe with a soft whimper. He relaxed again, resting his hand softly against Danny’s chest. Danny held him quietly for a minute or two before tilting his face gently back to look at him closely, gauging his headspace. His fingers traced along his still stretched jaw.

“You always look good like this,” Danny said softly, thumb grazing over his upper lip. “Mouth stretched around cock, though I doubt this feels as good as the real thing huh?”

Steve still couldn’t answer, but he had to agree, it wasn’t the same as the real thing, especially Danny’s cock which he often craved for, especially in the last few weeks when he’d not had a chance to worship it with his lips, teeth and tongue. Danny rubbed his cheek firmly with a smile.

“You want this off now?” He asked him. Steve felt a dip of disappointment, even if his jaw was aching now. Danny must have saw the reluctance in his eyes, giving a knowing smile and soft laugh. “No? You really are a cock slut aren’t you. Okay, you can keep it on a few more minutes more. Here, move over, on your knees.”

Steve moved over to the side of the bed where Danny’s patted with his hand, kneeling and facing the headboard.

“Hands behind your head,” Danny ordered softly. Steve obeyed, interlinking his fingers behind his head. He felt Danny’s hand press over his and apply soft pressure there until he began to bend forward. Danny pushed him down until his face was in the sheets. “If you want to act like a cock slut, you can look like one too. Stay like that for a little while, to remind you what you are.”

Steve relaxed into the position, body still buzzed from orgasm. God he’d come embarrassingly quick and hard; he felt heat rise over his neck and cheeks as he flushed at the thought. Over the years Danny had trained him to wait, to be patient, kept his orgasms at bay with commands and control. He swallowed around the gag as it ached his jaw and made him drool against the sheets. Fuck he loved the feeling of a well fucked mouth and Danny was giving him the closest experience of that until he could go down on him. The idea of sucking Danny’s cock made him drool even more and he groaned softly into the sheets.

“Thinking baby? About what you look like, my little cock slut,” Danny whispered, his hand trailing down his spine to his ass before moving back up again. A soft, tender caress. “Imagine what people would say if they saw you like this – my tall, dark, handsome Navy SEAL on his knees for me, showing me what a good little slut boy he really is. What would they think if they saw how hard and fast you just came, the sheets are fucking dripping with your come.”

Steve moaned a little louder as the thought festered in his mind. It made him feel exposed and embarrassed but that humiliation fed into his submission. At the back of his mind he knew it would never be public knowledge, but Danny knew him enough to tease him with the idea of it.

“Yeah such a good pet,” Danny soothed, rubbing his fingers at the back of his neck just above his collar. “A good, trained boy, comes when his Master tells him too. You like being a good boy don’t you Steven.”

Steve grunted an affirmative, feeling his cock getting hard again as Danny teased him with words.


	8. Chapter 8

“You have been a good boy, keeping your cock and come just for me,” Danny continued gently. “All this time, what would they say if you told them you don’t jerk off or play without asking me first? Jesus, they’d laugh, poor little slut can’t come without me saying so. But you love it don’t you babe. They don’t understand how much you crave to give it up to me, all that control and I got you on a trigger.”

Steve was breathing hard now, jaw aching and he swallowed around the gag again, moaning, gurgling, cock beginning to twitch and throb. Danny’s fingers slid to the buckle that held the gag tight and he felt it loosen after a moment. Danny continued to tease and humiliate in his delicate, careful way as he removed the gag.

“You’re getting hard again aren’t you pet?” Danny said knowingly. “Might have known you’d have more than one in you, you’ve waited so long. Lie down on your back and get comfortable.”

Steve obeyed, stretching out and rolling onto his back, lying with his hands by his sides, breathing hard and focusing on a spot on the ceiling to try and calm his body which was so turned on by his Dom’s talking.

“Touch yourself, baby,” Danny encouraged softly. “Nice and fast like before. You deserve all the pleasure you can get out of this, such a good pet.”

Steve grabbed his cock again, jerking his hand fast. Danny had him so hard and he flushed at the humiliation of being so on the edge as quickly as before.

“Yeah pet,” Danny teased. “It’s embarrassing isn’t it, humiliating, being so close a second time. Fuck, look at you.”

Steve was moaning, grunting and writhing as he thrust his hips up into his hand. 

“Fuck – fuck Sir please,” He gasped out. “Let me come, fuck I’m close – so close Danny.”

“Ask me nicely,” Danny warned firmly.

“Please may I come for you Sir,” Steve said, swallowing down and letting out a low moan. “Oh fuck I need to come, please Sir, please, please.”

There was a moments silence before Danny leaned over, putting a hand softly on his chest as he looked down on him. Steve changed his focus from the ceiling to Danny’s eyes, desperately waiting for the permission he craved. Danny smiled at him.

“Come for me,” He whispered. Steve moaned loudly, hand working faster and his hips snapped up hard, cock leaking out a few stripes onto his stomach, but his balls were already empty. 

“Fuck, oh fuck Sir,” Steve groaned, panting loudly. “Fuck Danny, ohmygod, fuck.”

He shuddered, writhed and fell still, panting hard, letting go of his cock and looking wrecked. Danny let him enjoy the bliss as he leaned back against the pillows. His body still felt stiff and he found it strange that he wasn’t turned on, but he still found a certain satisfaction from connecting with Steve as they’d played. It wasn’t the same, but it was something.

“God Danny,” Steve hummed happily as he rolled onto his side and moved closer, resting his head on the pillow rather than Danny’s shoulder.

“Satisfied babe,” Danny asked him with a smile. “Or do you need anything else from me?”

“Think I’m done for now,” Steve laughed softly, his fingers holding onto Danny’s where they rested on his stomach. “Thank you Sir.”

“You’re welcome,” Danny grinned, turning his face to press a kiss to his forehead. “You looked hot. Love it when you let go.”

“You know exactly how to let me do that,” Steve smiled. “Anything I can do for you?”

Danny sighed and gave a small shake of his head, “Sorry Steve, these meds really dampen the spirts. At least physically, which is weird because fuck you looked hot, sounded amazing. In a way it’s kinda nice, dragging two orgasms out of you like that – like I could fully focus on you, give you my full attention. How are you feeling? Floating any?”

“Just in bliss,” Steve said, rolling onto his side further to press up closer to him. “I’m good Sir, really.”

“Okay, a few more minutes then we’ll have to change the sheets before we get too comfortable,” Danny told him. “You sprayed everywhere.”

“Sorry Sir, couldn’t help myself after so long,” Steve chuckled. 

“So I could see,” Danny laughed.

They fell silent, Steve tracing lines over Danny’s fingers slowly. Danny sucked in a breath and looked at him nervously.

“Babe you – you’re okay right, with me not getting turned on like I usually would,” Danny asked carefully. “I mean it’s not me, well it is, it’s just -.”

Steve sat up and kissed him to quiet him, giving him a smile. “I know Danny, seriously don’t worry. I’m not going to have a freakout. This was different, but we still connected, we got back into routine for a little while and I know we’re going to take it slow. I just came, twice, and it felt fucking amazing and you were guiding me through it all the way. You understand that once your cock gets with the program and it will once you start coming off the meds, that I’ll have stored up quite a few weeks worth of blow jobs right? Think of the fun you’ll have putting me back to work on making up for all of those.”

Danny smiled at that, happy with that idea and he laughed lightly, “Oh yeah babe, you know I will.”

“So until then, let’s concentrate on getting you all better,” Steve said, sitting up straighter. “How about I clean myself up, change the sheets and we have an early night. You look tired and I know you wiped me out with play time.”

“I like that plan,” Danny nodded, feeling suddenly weary at the idea of sleeping. He stopped Steve pulling away fully and slid his hand up to his neck. “You want this off?”

Steve smiled and shook his head, “Not right now. Let me wear it a little longer please, it’s been a while.”

“Okay pet,” Danny said gently. “You can wear it until we’re ready to sleep.”

“Thanks, I’ll be back in a minute,” Steve said, standing and heading into the bathroom.

Danny eased himself to the edge of the bed, he felt achy despite the meds and swayed drowsily. Sleep sounded so perfect then and there. He heard Steve walk back through the door and stood up carefully.

“I’ll help,” He said as Steve pulled the top sheet off the bed.

“It’ll take me two minutes,” Steve smiled, rolling the sheet into a ball and tossing it into the laundry basket by the door and fetching another from the bottom dresser drawer. “I’ll get you comfortable then tidy up the toys.”

“Do it tomorrow,” Danny told him as he slipped under the sheets gratefully. Steve looked at him with a frown.

“Uh, but you always make me tidy them up as soon as possible,” Steve replied, looking confused.

Danny looked over him and paused before nodding, “Yeah okay, don’t take long.”

Danny would have let it slide that once, but Steve was in his zone and it didn’t do too well to stray from their usual routine. If Steve was really deep in his headspace after a scene, Danny usually was the one to tidy away their toys. But after an easy session as they had, Steve tidied up and routine created good habits. As he listened to Steve running the water in the bathroom, Danny lay down and felt sleepy, eyes getting heavy.

“Babe?” He said sleepily from the bed. He heard rather than saw Steve in the doorway. “I’m about dead to the world already. Need to take off your collar.”

“Sleep Danny,” Steve soothed softly. “I’ll take it off before I go to bed I promise.”

“’Kay, put it back in the box,” Danny said, not even trying to open his eyes now. “G’night, love you.”

“I will and I love you too D.”

~ fin ~


End file.
